Have You Ever Been Duped?

Have you ever been duped? Been told something that had you totally stumped. Your brain cannot validate the situation and you are left wondering… what the hell did I ever do? What went so wrong that I can’t even think straight? Have you ever felt that, like your mouth got suddenly zipped and your brain just left you to take a vacation. And when you do come back to life, you find this person and the situation in a completely new perspective and you don’t know what to do with it. Should you pretend like it never happened, take it up like a fresh battle, or sulk over it and try to find fault with either the other person or with yourself.

I mean whatever option you choose, what will be the outcome? Who’s going to be the winner? What is it that went so horribly wrong that no matter how hard you try it will never be the same again? Your guess is as good as mine. I used to think that if I ever faced this kind of a situation, I would know how to deal with it. Truth is, I didn’t and I sucked (and sulked). Partly, because I didn’t see it coming. There I was, making good conversation, and out of the blue, I am hit with a statement that stumps me. Actually, it not only stumps me, but somehow makes me revisit the relationship I share with this person. And, believe me that is not something you want to do. There are some things that are sacred to all of us. Especially, if it involves people and relationships. We are not very good at these things, no matter how hard we try.

So, now that I have been stumped and quite literally dumped with all the fault in the world, what do I do next? Should I try to ‘talk’ it out (do u really think we are dumb enough to do that)? Should I wait, so that the earth opens and swallows me to safety from this piercing situation? Was I so foolish to think that I would come victorious? You know the funny thing is, in these kinds of situations, no matter how right ‘you’ are and how wrong ‘the other’ person is, both will always be the victim. You for being blamed for something you now have amnesia of, and the other person who feels that they should be given an Oscar for best performance. Truly, it is a sight worth seeing. But, my real question is why do we go on this guilt trip? Why is it that we need to make someone feel guilty for something that could possibly not mean the end of this world? What do we get out of it? Did our superior–o–meter just go up a notch? Are we supposed to feel sorry for the I-am-so-sad-that-you-won't-even-understand expression?

What I realized was not how much you value what happens, but what you did to make it happen. You feed you own guilt and sadness and bad hair day and try to turn it in your favor. You think that you will make the other person also feel some of the pain that you ‘think’ you feel. Isn’t that selfish? What did you ultimately gain? Nothing. Neither you nor the one you tried to make wish that they are nothing more worth than the small worm in the muck, got anything. The only thing that got the whack was the ‘relationship’ you share. And that is what duping does to you. It dupes you of the one thing that you hold true and important in your life. It gives you an inferior feeling of superiority which actually does no one any good. But seldom does anyone realize this.